Buying a home with a partner is a big commitment—but what happens when the relationship ends? Many couples assume that dealing with a jointly owned home after a breakup is as simple as “taking someone off the deed” or that the mortgage will automatically transfer to whoever stays in the house. Unfortunately, real estate law doesn’t work that way.
I’ve seen so many people end up in financial and legal limbo after a breakup because they didn’t fully understand how co-ownership works. Whether you’re currently in this situation or want to prepare for the unexpected, this guide breaks down some of the biggest myths about co-owning a home after a breakup—and what you can do to protect yourself.
Myth #1: “We can just take one person off the deed.”
Reality: The mortgage and the deed are two separate things.
A common assumption is that if one person wants to keep the home, they can simply remove the other from the deed and move on. However, removing a name from the deed does not remove financial responsibility for the mortgage.
If both owners signed the loan, the lender still considers both people responsible for the debt—regardless of who is on the deed. That means if the person who stays in the home misses a payment, the other person’s credit could still take a hit.
The only way to fully release a co-owner from financial liability is for the person keeping the home to refinance the mortgage in their name alone—which isn’t always possible if they don’t qualify on their own.
Myth #2: “If one person moves out, they give up their ownership.”
Reality: Ownership doesn’t change unless it’s legally transferred.
Moving out does not automatically mean someone loses their rights to the home. If both names are still on the deed, both people still have legal ownership—even if only one person is living there.
This can create huge complications if the remaining owner wants to sell or refinance later, as they still need the co-owner’s cooperation to sign off on any changes. If communication breaks down, the property can sit in limbo for years, causing financial and legal headaches for both parties.
If one person is moving out and doesn’t want to be tied to the property anymore, a formal agreement should be made about next steps—whether it’s selling the home, refinancing, or a structured buyout.
Myth #3: “The court will force my ex to sell the home.”
Reality: Courts don’t automatically force a sale unless legal action is taken.
In some cases, one person may want to sell while the other refuses. This is where things can get complicated. Courts do not automatically force a sale just because two co-owners disagree.
If an agreement can’t be reached, the person who wants to sell may have to file a partition action—a legal process that asks the court to order the sale of the property. However, partition cases can be expensive, time-consuming, and stressful.
A better approach is to work out an agreement in advance that clearly outlines what happens if one person wants to sell in the future. If that wasn’t done, mediation or legal guidance may help avoid court battles.
Myth #4: “A verbal agreement is enough to decide what happens.”
Reality: Only written agreements hold up legally.
Many couples assume that if they verbally agree on how to handle the home, that’s enough. But in real estate, verbal agreements don’t hold up in court.
Under the Statute of Frauds, contracts involving real estate must be in writing to be legally enforceable. That means a verbal promise to sell, buy out a co-owner, or split the property in a certain way is not binding unless it’s properly documented.
If one party backs out of a verbal agreement, the other person has no legal recourse. That’s why it’s critical to get agreements in writing—including buyout terms, payment structures, and who is responsible for ongoing costs until the transfer is complete.
Myth #5: “The mortgage follows whoever lives in the house.”
Reality: The lender doesn’t care who moves out. Both owners remain liable.
Even if both owners agree that one person will stay in the home and take over payments, that doesn’t change what the lender sees. If both names are still on the mortgage, both owners are still financially responsible.
This means that if the person staying in the home stops paying, the lender can go after both parties—regardless of whether one person moved out long ago.
The only way to fully separate financial responsibility is through refinancing or selling the home. Otherwise, the risk remains.
What Should You Do If You Co-Own a Home With an Ex?
If you’re facing a breakup and co-own real estate, the worst thing you can do is ignore the issue. The longer things remain unclear, the harder it becomes to resolve disputes. Here’s what you should do:
- Figure out whether one person can refinance the home in their name alone.
- Get any agreements in writing—especially if there’s a buyout involved.
- Consider selling if neither person can afford to keep the home alone.
- If there’s a disagreement, seek legal advice before it escalates.
A home is one of the biggest financial assets most people own, and handling it the wrong way after a breakup can lead to long-term financial and legal problems. If you’re in this situation, getting legal guidance early can save you from a major headache later.
Final Thoughts
Breakups are difficult enough without a house tying two people together. Unfortunately, many homeowners find out too late that their assumptions about real estate aren’t legally correct.
Whether you’re going through this now or just want to be prepared, knowing the realities of co-owning a home after a breakup can help you avoid costly mistakes.
If you need help sorting out the legal and financial side of homeownership after a breakup, reach out for guidance. The sooner you address it, the smoother the process will be.
Legal Disclaimer
This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Every real estate situation is unique, and you should consult a qualified attorney for advice on your specific circumstances.
